stay thin. *abi*
stay thin. *abi*
"I need to lie down"
I let her lean on me as i walked her the short distance to my living room to the sofa, literally just as we got there she collapsed, i had a hold of her but i was so weak, she's only 70 pounds and i couldn't move her, deadweight. I yelled for mum who put her on the sofa and stroked her hair. I called an ambulance which came impressively quickly.
I sat in the ambulance watching her pulse going down down down.. I looked at her staring straight up, clinging on to her oxygen mask, this helpless woman, a woman who has raised 4 children single-handedly, ran her own business and now.. too weak to speak.
I was jealous.. i must be a terrible person.
She's "ok" now. She left the hospital about an hour after they rushed her in, screaming she was FINE!!!!.
We haven't spoken about it since, but the other day she bought me the most beautiful bracelet for no reason. Of course i can't wear it, which i love. It's too big. My scarred and fragile wrists are the favourite part of my body.
stay strong, i know it's hard at xmas. *abi* xx
Anyway, my scale died :( It needs new batteries, they're on special order. Anyone want to reccomend a scale brand or anything? Mine doesn't do bodyfat, it just records the weight. :/
Today: Coffee (creamer:60 cal)
1/3 Apple: 20 cal
Weight: NO IDEA :( Prolly still at 204. :/
I REALLY want to go for a bike ride, but I have my math final to study for - gotta go. Hugs to ALL!
Ugh, i've officially had the worst night in the entire world.
I'm just soo sick of so much.
I'm so tempted to just, shove my fingers down my throat.
And i know thats a horrible thing to be tempted to do.
And knowing how much worse that makes things, hurts me.
So, question: now that this community is private and such, do we need to change the thing that makes the entry public or private or friends and all that?
because i am an idiot when it comes to LiveJournal.
Starve my pain away,
make me beautiful,
make everything ok,
turn my problems into bone,
crush them up,
gather the remains,
blow away the dust.
I found this quote, and i was in serious like.
It's how i'm feeling, all the time.
Thought you might appreciate it if you hadnt seen it before.
*edit* zero picture, because effing remote links, can go die. kthx.
That's all i've got to say
Love you to the bones,
cw: WTF I dunno. See below. Somewhere around 200-210.
I have some serious issues with my scale. I normally weigh myself in the morning, right after my shower, naked. I've tried weighing before my shower, but it's always lower after. So anyway, for the past two weeks it's been:
211 ... 210.8 ... 209.8 ... 208.6 ... 210 ... 209.4 ... 208.2. (I don't have all the days, consider it an every other day record)
( cue the wtf...Collapse )
Thanks to anyone who can help *hugs*
Eyes not focusing...wtf.
Im leaving in 3 days so now its crunch time. ive got 3 days to loose 3 pounds.
I hope everyone has an awesome week! :)
p.s.- Just say NO to THANKSGIVING DINNER. :) :)
x-posted in __thin.
im down to 100 pounds. ive got app. 4 days to get down to 97 (my stgw). piece of cake...not literally tho :)
have a great weekend everyone!
stay focused. stay thin.